(no subject)

[brokentoy]

So, the people following me on twitter may have noticed that since the sixth (and sadly, last) round of blindfold_spn I've been randomly talking/flailing/squeeing about a fic that particularly caught my eye. 

Starting from that one (by the way it's titled The John and you can now find it  here  at AO3) I've been kind of fangirling over the author (stoatsandwich) and all of the works she published. 

I can't explain exactly how come I became so interested in her fics other than she treats perfectly all the theme's and kinks I'm 
into. 

The John is the most realistic prostitute!Cas (with supposed mental illness problems) AU I've ever read, as in: it hurts to see him
give himself aways so easily and carelessly until he mets Dean (and even then Cas' approach to Dean cannot be described as 
healthy.) It is crude in the way it describes Castiel's day to day routine and I haven't read a lot of fic that put so much focus under 
the less desirable details in what could have easily only been a pretty decent PWP. 

If it's PWPs you are interested in then The one where the Winchesters adopt Castiel is a great read. There are a few warnings though
of pretty great importance. It's an underage fic in which Castiel is 15-16 years old; it's an eventual Wincestiel; the incest element is 
twice as strong as in it Castiel has been adopted by John Winchester after a hunt when he ended up being an orphan. 

Now, I'm a sucker for underage and that's pretty much the only way I could ever read Wincest (until now) but this, this went beyond
my expectations. 
It has it all: the underage, the incest element, the co-dependency. 

Castiel is simply too beautiful to be real. All he wants is to please his brothers, to keep them and be kept by them and never end up
alone. Cas has just enough lucidity of mind to realize that all that matters to him is this new family, this three way relationship with his
brothers and that he feels like he could do anything to preserve (even manipulate Sam into not going away to college.)

The strongest component in this is Dean/Cas, especially the first installment, but Sam joins the party soon after. It's sexy and a tiny
bit disturbing at times but I loved every little piece of it. 

I like how the relationship is described, how Sam comes to realize what Dean and Cas have been doing without him being none the
wiser, and how (from how I see it) Cas detains the power in the relationship. I just like that he's the smallest of them all and yet he
knows what he wants and how to get it. 

And then, finally, FINALLY, my favorite work from stoatsandwich: Together They Fight Crime

I've been gushing over this for weeks, fangirling like an idiot because it is just that awesome.

Take green beret Dean who just came back from the Middle-East with a whole new set of emotional baggage but is still enough of 
a well-functioning soldier to be recruited into the Supernatural Division for the Government. He's not happy, not completely there 
with all his flashbacks that throw him back in the torture chambers, but he does his job.

Then take a young sixteen years old Castiel: he's a psychic, has been brought up as a weapon and has never been on the receiving
end of some human compassion. Also, he just came back from a six-month partnership with someone who raped and abused him
constantly, every day, all the time. Castiel knows that he's only purpose is to serve his masters, do what they say and please them.

Now pair them together and see what happens.

Really, you have to see what happens. 

I'm not gonna spoil it but this is one long ride on a hell of a roller coaster. They're both so beautifully damaged you just want to scream
at them to stop whatever it is they think they're doing and just take a breath and start again. But you know they'll do it exactly the 
same because they're doomed by they're own past experiences who shaped them as they are. 

It is long, and action packed and a psychological trip, and if you love Cas a tiny bit you'll suffer for him every step of the way. You
will suffer for Dean, too, and at times you'll want to beat him up, but you'll tell yourself he cares for Cas and will find a way to make
it just a little bit better. You'll see so much potential in Cas and you'll hate what people did to him, and at the same time you'll want 
revenge for him and for him to just forget it all and keep going. You will also be frustrated at his emotional incompetence, of course. 

Or maybe you won't, maybe that's just me. 

I love these two as they're portrayed here, and I love how at each chapter I've been asking myself 'now what?'

To pass the time in between updates I've read everything stoatsandwich wrote for SPN, and I was especially happy to find the
little snippets to her 'verses she published here. Also, she's always open to suggestions and discussion of her stories, which in my 
opinion is amazing. 

(last one: if underage is your thing as much as mine, you should check out her prohibition ficlet here. Cas is a young (11-12yo?) boy in 
a whore house, Dean is the son of the local mob boss that takes an interest in him.)

I feel better now that I finally did this post, as it's been my intention for so long but I couldn't make up my mind on how to do it. 

Please, do yourself a favor and go check her out :)